Have you ever felt like your pursuit of God is missing something? Do you ever feel like that you are never "doing enough"...that you will never measure up to the expectations of God? What about feeling like your walk has become about nothing but sacrifice and difficulty, which you are "supposed" to subject yourself to in order to measure up to the standard set by those that have gone before you or even those who are currently in your life? Do feel like you are striving for acceptance from God and other believers?
I am convinced that as Christians begin to get dissatisfied with the status quo religion they have been involved in (possibly their entire walk), they begin to desire the "real thing". They begin to seek out holiness which is very pure at first. Somehow along the way, they begin to compare themselves with other Christians and the measures that they see these other Christians taking. They feel as though they will never live up to "that kind" of devotion.
After going through a very difficult season of this in my own walk, the Lord began to, and continues to, teach me and grow me in truth in this area. I finally realized, once I discovered the secret of entering into the secret place of communion with Him, that the simple answer to what I was desiring was right there all along. He taught me that seeking Him in lieu of seeking holiness would produce the holiness that I desired. At first, I had a hard time accepting the notion that it was this simple.
Before I go any further, I would like to state for the record that I DO believe it is very important to our growth to starve our flesh from the things that distract us from the presence of God. There is a fine line here though. Fasting, extended times of prayer, removing things like:TV, Internet, etc., are things that will produce incredible fruit IF they are done with the right motives. Have you ever noticed that you get a completely different result in your heart and spirit when you do something for a loved one out of a desire to bless them rather than doing it out of a guilty conscience? God is more concerned with our heart than He is the sacrifice. If you fast, do it with the purpose of drawing near to Him. If you shut off the TV, do it once you have truly come to the place that you see the harm it is causing and don't want to pollute your mind. Do it because you actually believe that what God has to say to you is more exhilarating than any tv show or spriting event could ever be. You see if you do some thing like stop watching TV because others tell you to, your heart is in the wrong place...the motive is wrong...and what you will get as a result is a resentful heart towards God. It will also leave you feeling like you must be a masochist in order to be a "real" Christian.
Here is the wonderful truth that I pray will set you free if you are struggling with a performance mentality in your walk.
SEEKING HIM WILL PRODUCE WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR!
Think about this with me. If you spend all of your energy in your pursuit of God in the area of intimacy, you will begin to see things change without feeling like you are striving. I know this from personal experience. The more time you spend in the presence of God...the more time you spend listening to Him speak to you...the more time you spend in His Word allowing him to speak to you...the more you will see the character flaws effortlessly melt away! As you begin to know Him...to know His voice...to know His heart, you will begin to take on His character. You start removing the impurities in your life with a joyful heart because it is the Spirit of revelation that has revealed to you the availability of a deeper relationship with Him. When we have His heart, the things that grieve Him will grieve us. The things that break His heart will break ours. The things that bring joy to Him will bring joy to us. As long as our desire remains on Him, the pursuit of holiness will be the area of our life that brings us great Joy instead of feeling like a never-ending maze of frustration.
John 15:4 - Abide in Me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.
WOW - Jesus said so himself. If you desire holiness, then abide in Him.
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